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Tag: asd

  • Asperger’s Syndrome Part 2

    Asperger’s Syndrome Part 2

    People who are Aspie’s all have the same thing in common. The part of the spectrum they struggle with is the social aspect. I explained in my previous post how much I struggle with it.

    It’s how to start a conversation, or if this has been mastered it’s a topic of small talk that is absolutely tedious. Small talk is not where I shine and I hate it. I would rather jump straight into a conversation of intelligence that sparks me and the participants into a deeper thinking. Personally it’s about having a great and interesting conversation or no conversation at all.

    Having come across other people on the spectrum I know finding the words and putting them into a sentence can be a real and major struggle. It could be mid conversation, sentence or simply at the start of both. Other times a sentence is formed but makes no sense to a neurotypical but absolute perfect sense to a neurodivergent. I find for myself, only occasionally, if I am really struggling to find the right word or the words to string together if it does not make sense to me it will make sense to a neurotypical.

    One of my all time favourite pass times is sitting on my balcony or if I am out in a café is people watching. I find it so much more enjoyable than attempting or trying to engage or keep a conversation going.

    When I do watch other people I do get the feeling of loneliness and envy of how they find it so easy to socialise so effortlessly. As much as I enjoy not engaging with other people I do also enjoy it just on the scale that other people might. All it takes is a few hours and of my weekend and I am happy to then get on with the other stuff I have to do.

    I have so many conversations in my head that happen. Most are to myself, about anything and everything, Big or small topics. Some are with family members about the same sort of thing. I am not good at reading social cues so I could end up either talking too much because I don’t know when to stop talking or I don’t respond because I don’t know if it’s my cue to talk.

    I am socially anxious person and always have been and that is because of my Asperger’s I often feel left out despite my efforts to fit in. This then leads to my mental health which is impacted daily.

  • Asperger’s Syndrome and the Spectrum Part One.

    Asperger’s Syndrome and the Spectrum Part One.

    Women, Men, Girls and Boys on the Spectrum are the same and not the same in so many ways.

    What many people would see as an major over reaction to us it is not. We simply cannot handle some and many situations the way people would simply have no issue dealing with. It could easily be something as simple as how certain materials feel.

    To a good majority of people this sounds ridiculous and that is the most stupid thing they have ever heard. Let me tell you something to people on the Spectrum it is a big deal and it is what can make or break a good day or a bad day for many of us.

    For me, I have Asperger’s Syndrome and my triggers are crowds. It can be a group of people of 6 or more and I find that hard enough to deal with and a big struggle. I can deal with it for a short while, how long that is depends on the day however, it is never a long time on any occasion. I have a social battery for 2 reasons, I find small talk very hard to deal with, I am not good at it and I hate doing it. Small talk I find it hard to find things to talk about, I would rather have a passionate and full, in depth conversation or not talk at all. Second reason I mask all day when I am at work so I am tired when I get home.

    The reason I mask as when I am truly myself the serious lack of understanding from work colleagues and members of the public would and does spark a reaction and the reactions from my managers then goes straight to the defence of the public and starts attacking me and says I am the one in the wrong when sometimes I truly cannot help it. For me to be able to be truly myself I have to be at home so on my own somewhere where I know there are no other people. It is extremely frustrating and emotionally and mentally exhausting my my emotional and mental health have taken such bad turn it has taken me and is still taking me on a journey in which I should have been put on due to the refusal of people wanting to understand, accept and learn about The Spectrum.

    People who are neurodivergent can detect someone else who is on the also neurodivergent even if the person is masking. We just know each other and we are drawn each other like a moth to a light. Reason for this is we do have to explain ourselves to one another. the only things we need to explain to each other are our triggers but, we do not have to explain why they set us off we just tell each other what they are and we understand as we all have out triggers and they much us feel.

    In the world the human species lives people who are on the spectrum are classified as difficult and hard work because we apparently have a short attention, this is far from true. We supposedly cannot sit still, for some yes this is true but, a different learning environment is all it needs.

    In the world we live in neurodivergent people are classified as thick and stupid, we are actually the complete opposite. We are the most intelligent people on the planet. There are famous in the world that have lived and are living who have been or are on the spectrum. Never underestimate the intelligence of someone on the spectrum they understand so much more than than the neurotypical.

    Autism and the Spectrum comes in so many different forms. Some are obvious and noticeable. Other forms you won’t notice as people like myself mask so to the neurotypical that person is like them when really they are far from it.